this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I want to be your penis for a week.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
