i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Semen is not good for contacts.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
