What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
