i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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