That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
