One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
