carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
