I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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