i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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