Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
