garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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