his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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