his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
