i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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