Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize