Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
