I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have post one night stand depression
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
