Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
