I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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