Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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