Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
