cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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