Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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