You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
