He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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