I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
