Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
