You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
