im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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