I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
