My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
