It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
