If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
