he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Drake has all the answers
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
