her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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