she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
