It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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