Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
