and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
