Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My bed smells like the plague
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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