Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
