actually, I'm a sock model
I didn't shave. On purpose
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
