im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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