I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
