If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor