he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You can't motorboat a personality
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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