I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize