"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
