Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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