my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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