Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
