So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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