Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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