singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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