Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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