we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
