sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
