I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
