if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are we in a gay sports bar?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize