its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
