You just made me feel so damn special
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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