I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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