Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
