Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
