So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
