we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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