Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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