you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
